Sicilianman, 66

I invented kissing,Doctors have said not to operate heavy equiptment after kissing me for any long periods of time. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down: I am nonetheless happy! I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven.I sleep once a week; when I do sleep I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.
I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid on time. I breed prize-winning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, I have played Romeo ,I have performed open-heart surgery and have personally spoken with Elvis!Sharks have a week dedicated to me also.Hearts will never be practical.Always keep barbwire around your heart,its soft and its special,protect it at all times.I am a dynamic figure often seen scaling walls and crushing ice with my bare teeth. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethic slurs for Cuban refugees. I write-award winning operas and manage time efficiently. I enjoy the occasional sumo-wrestling match at my dojo on Saturday mornings.
I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing. I cook Three-Minute rice in one minute! I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. I have introduced Oscar nominees to a group of gang bangers for Christ.
Using only a hoe and a large glass of water I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I am the subject of numerous documentaries and at least one docu-drama. When I’m bored I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I was a nominee for the Freedom medal.
I am an abstract artist of the cubistic style, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. I teach igloo building when I travel to Alaska. Critics worldwide sw