Mazi83, 41

Well I have to admit after everything I have went through in the past few years it has left my heart completely broken, and when I was younger and thought I was in love a couple times, which the relationship never lasted much more than a year, and got hurt, I thought I had a broken heart then. Well yes but not even close to the pain that has been left in my heart in the present. I told myself I don't believe my heart could ever possibly, even begin to mend and find love again but I suppose my soul is telling me otherwise. I came home from prison a little over two weeks ago and find out the exact heartbreaking news about the man I loved and had been with thru very difficult times for over four years, just leaving me not even 3 days after I got locked up for his ex that had treated him so bad , I healed him and made him so much more than he was, and two months later getting shot and killed over something so petty. I am left with a void I guess you can say my soul is craving to fill. Unfortunately I am of course on 9 months parole, with a 7pm curfew, and I guess because I absconded, the state slapped an ankle monitor on me for a while. Supposedly if I do good I might get it off in June. At 41 I am back home with my parents but also, with my 12 year old son whom I had not really seen, except thru glass in almost a year. It's hard being back at my parents but I am grateful. And my son is so happy, he has watched me go thru so much these past few years and is just happy to have me back home with him. His father died a few years ago, so I'm the only parent he has. Thank goodness I was blessed with parents who have been taking such good care of my only son, spoiling him rotten, while I have gone thru this mess. I have to say tho, my only intentions have always been to have a family and live a somewhat normal life. I thought I found a good man who my son and I could live happily ever, after with but I was wrong. I guess I am trying to say that I long to love and be love