Loganprime, 44

Laugh and Nerd Out! Now accepting applications for the following positions:

-Girlfriend
-Online Chat Buddy
-Superhero Sidekick

Requirements:
At least two years working experience in the following (or related) fields:
-Witty conversation
-Humor
-Being female
-Adventuring

Though not required, proficiency in any of the following areas will improve your chances in the selection process:
-Standing back flips
-Doing 3+ digit multiplication in your head
-Drawing Batman doing awesome stuff

NOTE: While this is an entry level position, there is room for advancement as reward for exceptional performance.

If you feel you would be a good fit, please submit your resume and references, along with answers to the following questions:

What are your career goals for this position?
Have you ever been convicted of a felony?
Would you best describe Optimus Prime as "awesome" or "incredible"?
Did you seriously read this whole application, or did you simply decide to contact me based on my profile pic and vital stats?

Thank you for your interest, and good luck!