Lnfinity, 38

Vegan!?!1?!!on?e!1eleventy?! From high atop his pedestal of moral superiority, your protein deficient subject is an abolitionist vegan. This godless heathen spends his free time blaspheming the holy spirit and supporting eco-terrorism! Consisting on a diet of pure salad, he could never hope to compete at the high athletic level of Carl Lewis, Scott Jurek, or Mac Danzig. By volunteering his time on behalf of animal rights he demonstrates that he cares far more about non-human animals than about human ones and never could become a productive member of our society. He wouldn't laugh if you tried to sneak meat into his food and thus clearly possesses no sense of humor. He must be well off because less fortunate people can't afford vegetables, peanut butter, or rice. Either way, he clearly does it just to be popular and he'll grow out of it eventually.

Looking for a woman who doesn't shave her armpits and clearly can't wear deodorant (Can't make that without exploiting animals). Similarly she should weave her own shoes out of hemp and wear nearly all hemp clothing. She should probably live with at least a dozen cats and just adore being overrun by other animals.