Why do Women treat Nice guys like crap?

[livunbignhammer]

i hear ya on that i dont get woman at all myself when i was a kid i was cocky and mean to girls and they seemed to flock to me [not that im being cocky its just the way it was] until i lost a girl i loved very much ive changed the way i treat woman and give them all the respect in the world but you think i can find someone HELL NO all the woman beating two timing losers have em all almost makes you want to change your ways but ill never do that i just love and respect woman to much specially having a daughter whos growing up to be a lil woman herself i just hope she goes for the nice guy i SOO prey she does

[pinkkitty]

Ok, basically women have issues. I speak being a women. Most of us can't handle nice men. It's not even that we feel as though we do not deserve nice men. It makes no since because basically all we sit around and B---- about is how we have no men in our lives that treat us well. But this is what I have determined about myself and other women like me, we find nice men boring. It is a subconscious thing. We do not realize we do it. Plus, me personally usually the nice guys become deeply involved emotionally while I am still warming up to the relationship. Frankley, that scares the hell out of me and I run the opposite direction.

[BLKCREAM (deleted)]

Listening is very important in every relationship.....Listen !! if she has doubts about you, or tell you she doesnt wanna be serious, then pls dont become serious about her. If someone aint feelin you.....or don't wanna be serious wid u then, no matter what u do or how nice you are that aint gon change how they feel. don't waste ur time and energy on them......find someone whos gonna be serious about u.......

mz. dyma

[7kellison]

spoilbrats19 wrote: `some women just dont like the whole nice guy approach and one way of realizing that is with a self centered hottie, my best friedn who i love dearly fits this profile she is beautiflu to the bones and she knows it... she hates nice guy the whole lovey dovey thing is way too much for her she knows she is beautiful and smart and gorgeous and a guy telling her all this is just wasting her time..she thinks that he isnt bringing anything to the table or even adding to her personla enjoyment... being around her has taught me alot she like guys who are ruff and touch who would smack her on the *ss and call her names because it something that she isnt use to hearing or being treated it exciting and refreshing to have a guy take control and iis confident of his masculinty.


there is some truth to this. i'm a very assertive person and i don't want a guy that is submissive in nature. it is a turn off for me.

[guruv (deleted)]

`It was rather interesting to read all of these post, since this has triggered a great number of my own memories regarding the issue. I realized something from the overall exchanges - men and women think differently in some areas and the same in others, seemingly as a result of their evolutionary positions.

i was once told that when it comes to love, women are scientific, meaning that women can coldly know how to go from frump to fab in a one night stand. They are used to having to hide their emotions and, as a result, can employ them on command, tears, smiles, etc.. It is very easy to put a man off as a result. Men in love tend to be honest and very lost because it is culturally unsound to show any emotion. Men are playing emotional poker with women who are raised to have everything but a neutral face. We aren't in Kansas anymore. We are not speaking with the same emotional microscopic cues that we would associate with our parent's idea of love.

Loving Parent's seem rare. The norm seems to be somewhat socially and emotionally dysfunctional when compared to what we see on television, in situation comedies, and movie dramas. It may be that we live in conflict between the images of normalcy that we perceive thanks to a writer's plot device leading to tranquility, vs the reality of day to day life.

Grandparents seem more settled and happy. But this may be due to their struggles. They may have had nothing growing up as a result of the Great Depression or some other lacking economic and educational influence. But we are constantly bombarded by images and our senses may be overwhelmed. We may not see the suffering of others as a result of our incessant need.

Also many women see flattery, decency, a tendency towards altruism, not as a good thing. But rather as a come on. I am not quite sure if women truly believe that a decent man is boring. I believe that many people say many things because peers are listening. If a man or a woman seem too nice, they must be. Hence, pass up the loser. If you get to know them, and they are as good as they seem, pass them up. If you found this one, you may find something better. The lightbulb has gone off and you feel as if you are free and you no longer have to settle. You can move on to the man of your dreams.

This proves to be a trap. Because, people change internally regarding likes and dislikes. Today, we want the bad boy or the tramp because we edge on the danger. Tomorrow we want a prince or princess because of emotional needs. What is the answer when outer images on media, time and our changing internal volition conspire against us.

A more scientific approach may be to ask, what worked for us in the first place? Some say that acting selfishly is good. Being this way comes as a result of thoughtless action growing up. Some say that providing a no brooding attitude is best. Party boys and girls tend to be emotionally one dimensional, and they tend to be very young. Older women and men can't get away with the brooding bad boy, as these are signs of inexperienced youth, ie the love affairs of idiotic wolves and vampires.

Mankind is a chameleon creature. Use that. Use it as entertainment for your partner. Use it to heal your partner's woes. Use it to be the man or women of their dreams. And always leave a lot of yourself out. Let them discover you. Let them find something new about you everyday. Stop one dimensional. Go out to place you have never been. Go do things that you only dreamed about. Even if you are hurting. Be selfish with your time. Show them that you can share this selfishness. Create an us and them scenario. Tear it apart when it seems old. Don't cry when you should. Cry alone. The world is a hard place. Love IS a battlefield. Support the ones that you love. Make them want to follow you.

One more thing. Supermodels, mono-dimensional characters, and other seemingly interesting people are only interesting for a very short period of time. In the end, they must give in to the foibles and foils of human experience. They have to find love with the wrong person. They eventually have awkward and embarrassing moments just like the rest of us. And they have their moments of weakness. So don't look to them as any kind of mentor. That would be the blind leading the blind. If you don't believe me, ask Paris Hilton, who spent time behind bars after violating her probation regarding a prior DUI.