alikakadri
(deleted)
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![]() Posted: Post subject: I wanted to point out something important |
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I'm always trying to help raise people's awareness and earlier this week a friend shared something with me i'd like to post here as it describes the past 12 to 14 years of my life... why my current relationship is dying...
in the hopes it'll help someone else avoid that sort of relationship... because from what I've seen it's more common than I thought...
although the post is one-sided, i'm sure there are women with that sort of behavior (I'm not sure if they (men and women described below) realize they act that way or not... but it never allows for a healthy relationship.
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HAS SOMEONE ALMOST COMPLETELY DESTROYED YOU AND ARE YOU NOW STRUGGLING TO UNDERSTAND AND RECOVER?
YOU MAY HAVE BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A NARCISSISTIC MAN.
1. Does he act out in verbally aggressive behaviors, or does he have 'rages', especially if he feels he has been insulted in some way? Does he blame 'you' or accuse you of being the one that is 'acting out' or 'out-of-control'?
2. In the beginning was he just 'too good to be true'?
3. Does he rely on you financially, or does he ask you to help him fund things?
4. Does he often spend outside of his budget?
5. Is everything always about him and is nothing ever about you? Does he seem insensitive to your needs, unappreciative of your input, or non-acknowledging of your accomplishments? Does he not recognize your giving, kindness, and thoughtfulness? Does he seem genuinely not interested in your life?
6. Is he controlling? Do you often feel manipulated?
7. Does he show one side (Dr. Jekyll) to the public (a perfected persona which you know is fake), and another side (Mr. Hyde) to you in private? Does he go out of his way to impress people?
8. Does his ego bruise easily, or is he hyper-vigilant to the slightest insult? Do you have to be careful how you word things or voice grievances?
9. Does he expect special treatment or feel he is 'entitled' to it?
10. Does he talk about himself more than you feel is normal?
11. Does he avoid eye contact with you, or does he withhold S-- or affection? Has he been unfaithful?
12. Does he seem to lack empathy or compassion for others, or does he 'fake' it to enhance his 'public persona'?
13. Do you feel emotionally battered and confused?
14. Have you noticed your confidence or self-esteem slipping?
15. Is he histrionic? In other words, in public does he hog the limelight, putting on exaggerated shows and telling fascinating stories of himself in order to be the center of attraction? Is he loud or does he act like he is on stage when engaging in simple conversations with other people?
Have You Broken Up With, or Are You In Love With a Man That Has a 'Counterfeit Heart'?
Get help understanding what it's like to break up with a histrionic or a narcissist so that you can get through the break up yet still keep your sanity (or whatever sanity he has left you with!)
Living with, Loving and LEAVING the Narcissist
Breaking up with a histrionic narcissist? Be prepared for the battle of your life! While you are an emotional basket case, the man with a narcissistic personality disorder is as Cold as Ice! While you are left holding down the fort and dealing with the real-life responsibilities, he walks away from everything leaving you to mop off his stage and pay his bills.....and not even acknowledge it to himself! Why? Because he's off charming the socks off of new women as if your years together didn't even exist!
And to him they didn't! The narcissist has a 'counterfeit heart'!
Of course, you will never see this in the beginning of the relationship with a narcissistic man. Many women do not see any of these harmful qualities until the relationship gets serious because both the narcissist and his prey tend to idolize people in the beginning of relationships.
And being idolized feels good - so good that we often willingly overlook the red flags.
“Women know how to fake ------. Some men know how to
fake an entire relationship.†~ Sharon Stone
Whether or not this has happened to you, it is still a very painful realization when you come to discover that you meant absolutely nothing to someone you loved very much. The realization that this man never loved you (don't delude yourself) hurts beyond compare. It is hard to understand that a histrionic narcissist loves only himself, and, if anything, considered you more a 'love-rival' than a 'lover'.
Truth is, you didn't exist to the narcissist.
The man with a narcissistic personality disorder is so totally and completely self-centered to the point of being the only person in his life - ever. You simply were a temporary ego-boost. A narcissist supplier (an enforcer and validator of his self-love). His mirror.
• he has a callous disregard for you
• he treats you like 'The Enemy'
• any argument with him always leads to him being the 'damaged party ' and you feeling beaten without ever having even opened your mouth
• even after you have left him, you still hurt instead of feeling good to finally be rid of all the pain caused by his antisocial behavior disorder or by his narcissism
• he hates everything you like - from your music preference and perfume, to your friends and pets
• he disagrees with any of your choices, opinions, or beliefs
• Narcissists are rarely faithful, and why it has nothing to do with you
• he has distorted views of you
• he never will be able to take responsibility for anything
• you went from his 'partner' to his 'rival' - almost overnight
• he 'demonizes' and 'devalues' you
• when you are around him, you behave in a manner that is totally unlike your normal, self
"In this modern world of "what you see is what you get", the narcissist is an exception. A packaged deception, a diversion, a virtual reality with awry programming." ~ Sam Vaknin"
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