Do --- and dating have to go together?

[(deleted)]

What happened to --- after marraige? Not in fashion? Even if you're not one for getting married, do all women expect --- to coincide with dating nowadays? I want to wait until I'm married before I have sex, or at the very least until I'm sure that she's the One that I want to grow old with. Should I be upfront about this with a date or wait to tell her after she tells me she wants something that I think is going too far?

I have many more questions than answers, so any input is welcome.

PS: Am I really doomed like my friends suggest for being so old fashioned? The interesting point is that was the opinion of my female friends!

[cloudedone (deleted)]

I've have to say that the only time --- should be involved in a relationship, is if the two people involved in that relationship love each other.

[stoic (deleted)]

Yes, we old-fashioned types are quite doomed... for whatever strange reason, the majority of women our age prefer to be treated poorly and disrespected by idiots... few of them want a nice guy.

The solution? Either find one of the few good girls out there; or wait about ten years so that all the bad girls can grow out of their phase.

Today, the dating scene is insane...immature, shallow, fast-paced and so on. Those of us who actually respect women are fighting an up-hill battle to fit in.

[erocskee (deleted)]

I feel if you both want it, do it, but if one of you wants to wait, then see what can come out of the relationship. Everybody needs some every once in a while, so sometimes it can be just ----, sometimes it may be love-but how long does that last when you add the sex?....There many different ways to approach this question, but I say it's strictly on the noods and attitude of the two in the relationship!

[sweety2006_PREV (deleted)]

[deleted]

[nightwhispers28]

Count me in the old fashioned category. I'm willing to wait til i find the one as well. And if he doesn't feel the same way, I'm not sure I want to take the risk of being brokenhearted again for a second time for something that may not be a committed relationship down the road...i.e marriage.

I'm beginning to think I live in the stone ages. I don't ever find males that feel the same way in my area. Then again I just wonder if I have extremely high expectations that no man could ever live up to and that knocks it down some but still...

What is the right answer here. Living life alone or compromising and willing to give in to have a companion that you know you love now and for the moment?

[kelly01 (deleted)]

i think having --- before marrige is good and bad i dont like the fact there are guys out there who think after one date or lest they can get into ur pants i think if u love some one and truly love them not ---- them then going that step is sometime both of u should want ... i think more of us girls would love to meet a guy who wants to be with them for who they are not how much --- they give and if u tell them ur waiting till marrige and dont stick thru it then its not worth it .... my brother was with a girl for 6 years without sleeping together he wanted to wait and she was happy to but then she cheated on him and feel pregnet so even when u think u found the one they go and stuff u over.... are we all doommed????

[fringey]

This is kind of a sticky question. I have never been married, and I am no virgin. I think the issue here is not so much --- and love needing to go togther, but I think there shouild be some strong feelings and you definitely should know someone at least well enough to be friends first.

I think the problem is that --- has had too many attachments placed on it over the years, psychologically and sociologically. I applaud those who want to wait, but I also wonder how much stress that puts on the relationship and how it affects those invloved. There is also the fact that, once you do get married and have attached all this emotion to the act of making love, what happens if you find out that you are compatible in that area? Behind financial issues, I believe the second biggest cause of divorce is ------ problems. Like I said, I don't think there is a right answer here.

I also don't think that those who want to wait until marriage are any more right than those who don't. I agree with an earlier poster that it is really dependent on what the two people in a particular relationship want. Personally, I don't know that I could do it, if it was a long engagement. However, I have been in relationships that didn't involve --- for quite a long period. We boht had to know the time was right. I am not a one night stand kind of person. I am not going to say I haven't had them, but they always left me feeling kind of empty. The best lovemaking is always with someone you care about.

Patrick
a.k.a. Fringey, The Fringe Element
"A life lived without passion is a life not lived."

[ANTINOMY_PREV (deleted)]

I don't think people should get married. Because of the small risk of STDs, it's good to avoid having --- with people you don't know well. Because of the lack of community support for child raising, it's not a good idea to have children unless you're in a financially favorable state. For most people that adds up to marriage, but I don't agree.

I think that a strong friendship where you trust someone enough to take them into your body doesn't need a hoary religious ritual to somehow make it more special or more true. I think the only reason people should get married is because our corrupt laws unfairly persecute the unmarried. Ideally though I'd fix the laws, and people would stop having to get married. "Reaffirmation of our love" is just another way of saying, "We don't really trust each other." "Till death do you part" is another way of saying, "I support ------ abuse."

For many women putting on the wedding dress is the most important and profound moment of her life, and that's horribly wrong. She should feel that on the eve of her greatest discovery or achievement, not on the day family cultists dress her in a $2000 white sacrificial gown. Guys don't have a fraction of that psycho brainwashing inflicted on them since they just doll up in a tuxedo. Anyway, just my thoughts. --- is all good, but marriage is where I draw the line.